Thursday, April 29, 2010

Going through the motions that lead to odd conclusions and real questions

Ever have one of those days where you are simply going through the motions of the daily grind but your head is just somewhere completely different?  That was certainly me today.  This was the direct result of a very long day the previous day which was capped off by a night of work that ran late into the evening and a dose of chatting it up with a friend until the wee hours.  So while I'd like to blame my work for the complete lack of sleep, I can't really do so in good conscience.

But my day was quite literally a case of trying to get through it all, and just go through the motions.  But I did notice a strange side-effect of sleep deprivation that I wasn't quite expecting.  Exceptionally brutal honesty and perhaps a bit too much transparency.  When you consider I work in a service delivery model and interact with customers, that can be a bad thing.

This concept did make me think though.  I've been reading a book by Vineet Nayar, he is a CEO of an Indian outsourced provider of IT services.  And one of the precepts of his book is that of maintaining transparency.  And I wonder how practical a practice that is within a very political environment such as the one in which I work.  The idea that transparency of thought and of open sharing as being something feared.  Are we covering something up?  Afraid of inadequacies?  Worried of being judged?

When it comes to my work, I am my own worst critic.  I strive for a higher level of delivery, and try to push myself when possible and constantly seek feedback on what I do deliver.  I want to be judged objectively.  So why should I worry about maintaining secrecy, transparency should be good enough.

I guess this goes back to my previous post regarding the facets of our lives.  But I wonder if those facets sometimes are forced to take on a different value system.  I'd never compromise my integrity or honor for most any reason but most of all not for personal benefit at work, which may be a naive concept in and of itself as I have aspirations that are not quite yet met professionally.  However I sometimes do feel that my moral compass can be challenged and at times given more latitude for the sake of judgement when dealing with the workplace.  What do you do when you are given something in confidence from a higher authority that you somehow feel compelled to share because maybe it is the right thing to do?

I try to rationalize this on a daily basis.  But at the end of the day, I know I can sleep well at night as I haven't done anything to compromise that compass to date.  To do so would be a crushing blow as all I have left to stand on and take home to the loved ones is my integrity.

So stay tuned for my next slightly fragmented post.  I need to maybe consider not authoring while on less than four hours of sleep in the future.

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